I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
