We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
