so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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