I love black thongs
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize