i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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