doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
