the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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