I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am available for nakedness
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
