I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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