I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
