Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
