This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
