Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
