are you so shy because you have an std?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
