Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
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Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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