At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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