GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
do nipples grow back?
Randomize