i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
