so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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