I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
