No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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