So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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