idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
