I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
