his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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