You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
