we're blogging at a bar
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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