There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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