O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
