Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
