He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
