I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
