Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize