well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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