just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
