Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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