I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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