You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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