there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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