You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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