I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
