talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
