My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You took a bar mat shot.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
