Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize