just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
