Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
