Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
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CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
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I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize