If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
