is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
