yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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