Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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