You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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