I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
