You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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