She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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