if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
