Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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