i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
