College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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