i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
