Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
