we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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