I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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