omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
