I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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