Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
